Friday, 28 November 2014


I've finally had one night of completely undisturbed sleep, and I am so grateful. The night before, Gu decided she'd bring a mouse upstairs (wee devil she is) so I barely got any sleep during her escapades at catching the mouse again and taking it downstairs and outside.
Finally I can think straight for the first time in three weeks! Lack of sleep if a form of torture, and I certainly understand why. It does things to your brain, fragments your train of thought.

Today I shall be getting on with revision and I didn't take my Environmental mock the other day as I didn't get any sleep and couldn't have even possibly looked at the paper, let alone actually taken it. It's bad enough that it's the subject I am weakest at. 

I just need to breathe, and get on with it. I don't want to be a failure. My biggest fear in life is failure, and never being good enough. I can't afford to not be good enough. I spent a year in a terrible school in year 7 (very few people know this) which resulted in me leaving and going to the school I adored for many, many years, but having had that year in a dump, it made my grades slip, and my attitude change. I became more defensive, and I did a lot of growing up in that year. I changed as a person, and I do curse the fact that it's where I picked up the irritating phrase "like" which I despise myself for using. and so I've tried hard to correct my vocabulary and way of speaking, because I used to speak very well.

Can't believe it's Black Friday. No shopping for me today though. I must be disciplined. 

Best wishes,
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Wednesday, 26 November 2014


Having had disturbed and very little sleep for three weeks (thanks neighbours!!) I have been feeling really unwell again recently, just when my health had become perfect. 
I missed a mock exam this morning as I feel just so crappy (sorry, there is no other non offensive word to substitute this time!) so I had to email in. Thankfully the college will let me take it tomorrow, but I still have to do a mock today at 1.15pm.

I'm just so, so tired that I want to curl up in a duvet with just my head poking out and watch disney and sleep. It's just one of those cruddy days.



 Or I could just disappear up to the highlands quite happily, and sit on a hill watching the world, breathing in the fresh air. That'd be equally as nice. I just want to get away from it all. Hope you're not all feeling as shoddy as me today, haha. In better news, YouTube subscriber count just hit 534! I can't believe it really. That's been making me happy as I wake up every morning and it has gone up again!

And yes. There are a lot of Brave clips/photos in this post. 

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Saturday, 22 November 2014


Today has been spent revising....

Energy, renewables, non-renewables, the advantages, the disadvantages, electricity, little physics references and that's not even all of it.
I'm just so done with this subject.

Environmental Studies was enjoyable in the first year, whilst I still have to retake unit 1 from last year as well as take Units 3 & 4 from this year, I've just gotten to the point where I'm wishing it would be over. I do regret choosing to continue this into A2. Learning about the environment was amazing, but learning about windows, the benefits of double glazing and why we have triple glazing now, just gets so, so tedious. All I can keep seeing is this irritating toad:

"I said you Buy One...."
Please go and die somewhere cretin....
 I feel today like Carrie at her most confused, and annoyed point, and it just isn't getting any easier. I'm thankful I have one subject that is a little lighter and just expects you to remember words rather than huge rolling facts, so I'm going to just pop off and revise for that now. 

And with this post....

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Thursday, 20 November 2014


I just wanted to take this chance to say 'THANK YOU', since I started in September 2013 making videos, editing and uploading them to YouTube, my goal has been to reach 500 subscribers. Three days ago, that happened. I am just over the moon, thank you so, so much.

You truly all are like an extended family to me, and it means the world (and so much more) when people say how much they enjoy my blog, or my YouTube videos, and each and every comment really makes me smile. So thank you all for putting up with me, understanding me, and being a part of my life now.

Today, I wanted to share some music with you, that really changes what mood you're in. Some music resonates deeply with me, whilst others are just feel good tunes that can perk you up when you are feeling low.

The first is:

This music is classical, and very beautiful. I played it on repeat on and off for five hours (yes you read that correctly) whilst I read 'The Scarlet Letter'. I found that book strange, yet very beautiful. I had to read it for coursework, and this was my favourite music at the time, so I played it over and over again whilst I read the book, and now I just associate the music with Hester (the heroine) and her sadness and affection for .... (you thought I was going to give away the whole secret of the book? Nope, you can either read it yourself or google the answer, I'm not going to spoil it!)

The second is:

This song is beat-y, up-paced and just all round fun to listen to, and is quite good whilst I'm revising as it sets a pace and a mood. Nothing too deep attached to this, it's just great music.

The third is:

At this rate, people are going to think I am a huge Ed Sheeran fan, but honestly, I'm not, these are just two songs that I happen to like by him. This particular song resonates deeply with me, the mood of it is so solemn but beautiful, and everything about this makes me feel calm and collected. I could sit on the bus and listen to this on repeat for hours.

The fourth is:

This song is really beautiful. My friend Harry absolutely loves Sam Smith, and he is the one who got me loving this song. It's just so deep and has so much meaning to it. Truly love it.

And finally:

This is hard to describe, it's basically a mix, of a DJ's remix of lots of different songs! This is probably my favourite thing to listen to on bus journey's as the mix lasts nearly an hour (or an hour, I can't recall) but I love a lot of the songs on here. To be honest, I love all of the songs on this mix, but some more than others. I particularly adore:

1. Younger (Seinabo Sey) - Kygo remix 
2. Dancer (Thulin) - Kygo remix
4. Can't Afford It All (Jakubi) - Kygo remix
9. Brother (Matt Corby) - Kygo remix 

So I do hope you enjoyed this rather random post, it just shares some really wonderful pieces of music. Whilst I do love the modern music, I really love a lot of 80s/90s music too, I love 'Walk This Way' by Aerosmith and RunDMC, 'Now That We Found Love', Heavy D and The Boyz, and 'It's Like That' by RunDMC.

Have a truly wonderful day, lots of love,
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Wednesday, 19 November 2014


So before too long, I am going to be 20 (in January) so I figured it'd be a good time to write this, who knows, maybe it'd even help some of you, I know I wish I had known what I know now back then! 

Side fringes are NEVER cool, no matter how you style them, you should only ever go for a fringe if it suits your face shape. AND WEARING FALSE EYELASHES IS A BAD IDEA. Also, if you have braces - JUST SMILE IN PHOTOS! Shut mouth smiling makes you look like you have a swollen face!
P.S This was a 'pimps' and 'ho's' 16th birthday party of a friend, this wasn't regular attire.


Wearing a belt directly under your bosoms does not made you look attractive, especially if you're already well endowed in that department. Plus, wearing a dress that doesn't suit your body shape is just atrocious. I hope the dress I'm remembering I wore years ago was burned shortly afterwards.


Wearing ripped jeans is not cool. Wearing ugg boots that you trip over your own feet in, is again, not cool. Wearing a pashmina to 'add to an outfit' is again.... You get the idea. Just everything about this outfit is wrong.


Side fringes that sweep over your forehead are NOT COOL. Even when you straighten your hair!


Cutting all your hair off to be a bit different is, NOT COOL. Only go for the chop if it'd suit your face shape. Mine isn't one of them!


Pulling a duck face, no matter where, no matter when, no matter whose birthday party it is, is really, not attractive. And just because you're fifteen does not give you an excuse.


Taking photos in the loo of your school PE room whilst pulling a silly face is again not attractive. There is a pattern emerging here isn't there? Plus, don't dye your hair a colour that REALLY does not suit your skin tone. Mine was an accident involving home highlighting, that ended up with a  giant gingery blonde patch among my ash brown hair, so I tried to cover it up, and it ended up looking like what you see above.


Just read it. This is terribly true. If you aren't even dating him, then why do you allow yourself to die a little inside when they are dating someone or talking about someone else?


Again, make your choices wisely.


Unless you're dating him, there is more to life besides him. I know that's hard to believe (and trust me, even now I would probably agree that sometimes the guy you fancy is the best part of your day) but seriously, CALM YOUR HOMONES.


Hope you enjoyed this embarrassing (as heck) list to my teenage self. What things can you say you have done on this list that you are embarrassed by?

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Monday, 17 November 2014


So today, I've decided to give a cheat's recipe to achieving nearly as good as Costa Orange Hot Chocolate (which you shall all by now if you read my blog, is limited edition!) So here's how to make an amazing one from home!

Orange Extract (I'm using a Sainsburys Taste The Difference Valencia Orange Extract)
Milk (Can be Skimmed, Semi Skimmed or Whole, I'm using whole as it's what we have in the fridge!)
Drinking Hot Chocolate (Something that goes into milk, and NOT hot water! This one is a Cadbury Hot Chocolate Powder that we've been buying for years!)
Additional Extra Ingredients

 (If you're feeling extra luxurious and can handle a few more calories, I'm skipping this as it'd mean at least 3 sessions of Zumba a week instead of 1!)
Nozzle Cream (the stuff in a can)
Mini Marshmallows (cause if you're going to be luxurious, you may as well go all out!)
Jazzy Mug (well, just a fancy mug that you love, mine is, of course, my My Little Pony mug bought for me by two of our lovely students last year!)

1. Firstly, pour the milk into the mug, you want it to be nice and full (unless you're going the down the luxe route, and then leave a little off the top so you can fit the cream on top!)
2. Pop the milk into the microwave on full setting for 1.50~ my microwave is 800W, and it takes 1.50 minutes to heat up a 'normal' sized mug. If you've got one of the Cath Kidston mugs (like I also have but I'm opting not to use this time) then you're going to need to heat it for a while longer and those mugs are more like bowls!
3. Remove from the microwave once finished, mix in the appropriate amount of hot chocolate powder as it says on the back of the tin (mine says 3 teaspoons, so that's what I'm adding, although sometimes I'll do 2 teaspoons instead). Stir thoroughly.
4. Next, add half a teaspoon of the orange extract. This will look like oil and will settle on the top. Here's where your stirring comes in handy! Stir, stir, stir, until it dissolves. It will go eventually, it just takes some persuading!
5. (OPTIONAL) Add squirty cream and mini marshmallows to decorate.
6. ENJOY! Tastes good doesn't it?
Hope you enjoyed this really quick and simple recipe. I did buy a Costa Orange Hot Chocolate today on the way home from college (I popped into town to do some banking, and grabbed one for the bus journey up the hill!) so I'm a bit cheeky, but for when Costa is shut, you're snuggled in at home watching a wonderful movie, this is a great one to serve to any guests you may have!
Lots of Love (Je T'aime) & Snuggly Hugs!
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P.S WE REACHED 500 SUBSCRIBERS (Actually 504/505) SO THANK YOU SO VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH! I'm just so overwhelmed and so thrilled, thank you for making a dream of mine come true!
Now the great question is, can I be bothered to stand in the rain waiting for a bus to go to Zumba? Yep. I'll be hopping on a bus in a couple of hours! :)

Sunday, 16 November 2014


Yes, I have just finished putting the Christmas decorations up in our living room, and now it's officially getting toward that time of year, it's getting even more exciting! 

We have gone for a silver and gold theme this year, because for the last 5 or so years, it's been white, silver and blue, and that's gotten a little boring now.


Christmas 2013, with Shloer in a champagne glass because I don't drink alcohol!

Overall, I'm so excited by the fact that it's okay to drink Shloer because it's Christmas, okay to eat wheat free apple pies (yes, I'm still wheat intolerant, and yes, it does still suck!), and the fact that you can wear party dresses during the day and get away with it!

Also, had a very amusing experience yesterday, I went to purchase Christmas crackers in Dunelm Mill, and got told that since I don't look 25 (which sort of disappointed me) I was not allowed to purchase them unless I could produce my ID. Now, being a non-drinker, non-smoker, I don't actively carry ID or my driving licence on me (as I don't drive either as insurance is at a premium and I can't afford £1,400 on our 2L diesel car to insure myself!) so when I informed her of this, she didn't sell them to me, so I just had to buy 3 Gingerbread man candles instead! Thankfully, my mum was a few doors down in another shop and came to the rescue and purchased them. I was a little shocked though, and will carry me ID on me from now on as I'm not risking getting caught out again. I also had to ask my mum how old I do look, and she said I 'look my age'. Weird though, since mentally, I don't feel my age, I've always felt older in a sense, I guess it's what being an only child brought up by one parent has influenced, and you can't really change that. One of the nicest things my group of friends said to me before they went to university was "how strange it was that I wasn't going to uni yet, since I was possibly the most mature of the group." which I took as a huge compliment and it has never left me to this day. 

Today's music choice, favourite songs being 2 and the last one from this Kygo mix:
Kygo Final Mixtape.

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Friday, 14 November 2014


I don't usually write many posts about things on a deeper level, but today, I've decided I'm going to.

Last night, I read something that made me extremely worried (please don't worry, no-one is really seriously ill, or dying, nothing like that, this is more trivial, but still had me worried none the less) and the first person I turned to was my best friend. I really admire Courtney, she's so talented, at 19, she's achieved so much, and I'm so, so proud of her. Not only that, but she has always been there for me, through some of the hardest moments of my life. When I lost my grandma, she was there no matter what, through the ridiculous long crush that I had, she was always there, and whenever I lost my head momentarily, she'd always find a way to bring me back to Earth again.

Last night when I text her, she sent me back the most reassuring, lovely text humanely possible, and immediately made me feel better. So what I'm trying to say is: A huge thank you to her, for always being there for me, putting up with me, even when I fancied 'that guy' and we made up code names for him just so we could have a private conversation (well, not so private when all our friends knew!)

Year 11 Prom.
Year 13 Prom. 

Year 13 Prom.
What is the point of this post? To tell you to never take your best friends for granted. Even if you occasionally row, you know when you've found your one true best friend, because even after three days ignoring each other and only slightly grunting at each other when it was completely necessary (Year 12 was fun! The first run of it anyway....) you'll still always be friends.

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Thursday, 13 November 2014


I have decided that it's time to write something I should have written a long time ago. It's something that I know can help others to avoid making the same mistakes that so many of us make, so here it is.

1. Do you need that chocolate? Yes, you probably do if you have had the week from hell that we all experience every now and then.
2. Yes gentlemen, gods gift to women was chocolate.
3. At some point in our lives, we will all fall over more than once in less than ten minutes, be it on ice, a slippery surface, or mud. For me, it was five times on the same walk down the muddy hill at my old college.
4. Whilst fancying someone is good because it helps take your mind off other things, be realistic, will he ever care about you the way you do him, and what good can come out of this crush? If it's all just fun then nothing bad, but if you find yourself liking them more, you should re-evaluate and reconsider if this is worth the time and pain.
5. Is it necessary to do that college work? Sometimes you can have a day off, but if it is due in the next day, then you should probably do it.
6. Curvy women are real. Yes, you read that right. I'm curvy, and we do exist, and although the media is dominated by gorgeous, skinny women, curvy ones do exist too, we are just a bit rarer to find in the media, sort of like a unicorn. 
7. Yes. Costa is god's second gift to women, in the form of a soothing, hot drink to wash away any pain from the day.
8. Walking into a wall is not a good idea, drunk or not. And falling over them isn't a good idea either.
9. Fail videos of stupid people doing stupid things are good at making you feel less incompetent.
10. Stop trying to be someone you're not. Just be who you are, laugh when you feel happy, cry when you're not. It's your life to live, not anyone else's.



Wednesday, 12 November 2014


For some reason, it's been such a long time since I last made a video, which I will explain in the latest video (not yet live), but I wanted to let you know that hopefully by late this evening, my new video will be live and ready to watch, I'm just putting the finishing touches to it now! There is a lot of snuggly, christmassy items in this one, because I feel like it's acceptable to get all excited about Christmas now!

Be sure to keep an eye open for it. 

"On Top Of The World, On Top Of It All, Trying To Feel Invincible."

Also, a new song that I discovered recently that has really lifted my spirit is:

Greek Fire - On Top Of The World.

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P.S, Yes I know, I have dimples.

Saturday, 8 November 2014


The biggest balancing act is balancing study time and free time. It's like walking a tightrope. Not to even mention the fact that I feel like I'm on a treadmill, and there is always a light in front of me, but I can never get to it, it's the dangling golden carrot, the thing that spurs me on. That light can never be extinguished. It stands for so many things, and it's what I have left.
I just need to take a minute to re-align my mind toward the work that I'm doing. Just one more year. Just one. 
Ellie Goulding - Beating Heart.
This song is one of my favourite songs, and Ellie Goulding has been one of my favourite singers, other than Nelly Furtado for many years now. Her music is so honest, and it has helped me through some dark times, as well as spurring me through huge assignments and other tedious things.

And another one for today, as it is really, really beautiful, and any girl (or guy) who has been hurt by someone they loved can relate to this:

Ella Henderson - Ghost.
I must get back to it anyway. 
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Friday, 7 November 2014


❄ ❄ 

And again, a lyric title, from my new favourite song:

Dangerous - David Guetta (Robin Schulz Radio Edit Remix)

Whilst I like the original (a little, I'm a bit disappointed though. Whilst David Guetta will always be my favourite DJ other than Avicii, this song let me down a little, but the remix by Robin Schulz? Sheer perfection!)

Today I had English Language at college Dominique, (who I will refer to as Dom) is in the same class as I am, and was informed that Benedict Cumberbatch looks like an otter by my teacher.... Yes, I have seen the photos, and the memes, and if he does look like an otter, he's a very cute one, and I still like him. Plus the fact my teacher pointed it out when I added up something wrong out loud the other day (It's an English lesson, not a maths lesson, and I never pretended to be a good mathematician!) I was so embarrassed. However, I can genuinely say, those are my favourite lessons of the week because (dare I use the word banter here? It's such a poor word, but there isn't a suitable substitute) of all the banter. It's a very funny lesson, and yet we still learn a lot in it, and whilst I don't need this particularly as another AS to add to my little collection, I do really enjoy it, and whatever I endeavor in, I will always aim for the best possible result.
Today, after language, Dom and I hopped on the bus (I won't even tell you about last night's bus which included waiting in the rain and cold for half an hour, then it arrives, and it's a revolting old bus, with god only knows what on the floor, and the bus smells of bodily odour, it was just awful. Then to make matters worse, we were stuck behind an ambulance stationary for twenty minutes, so I didn't get home until 6.45pm last night, and had homework to do that was due in today. Don't tell my teacher that I left it until last minute, okay? I don't usually but I've been so glazed this past week, and no, that isn't a euphemism for drunk, it's me trying to say dopey in a kinder way to myself.) We even snapped a photo of how miserable we were, it's not flattering but sums up how crud last night was, haha!

So Dom and I arrived in town and she came with me to Costa, to pick up one of their Winter drinks!! (Yes, it's officially winter now that Costa have released their Winter drinks, have I ever mentioned how much I adore Costa? I can just imagine the most perfect date there, is it just me, or does it seem like such a cute, cosy date venue? Nope, just me then....) I ordered the Orange Hot Chocolate in the LE Snowman cup, and Dom, who had to go to work ordered some food instead (I was revolting enough to grab a small Mc Donalds for lunch as I was in a hurry to get home!)
Orange Hot Chocolate Was Heaven! - Instagram (thegirlcriedfashion)
So, I drank my drink on the bus home from town, and ate my food when I got home. I've been bouncing all afternoon, as tonight (in fact, I leave in 45 minutes to catch the first of two buses) I get to see Courtney and we're going to the fireworks display! yaaaaaaaay! 
Anyway, enough of my life, I'm absolutely bouncing and so excitable right now. Maybe it's the sugar in the hot chocolate? Which I must say, tasted like heaven.
I couldn't snap an OOTD today, so have a make shift one instead:
And yes, this is my new favourite filter. I added the earlier picture of Carrie's quote, because it's how I feel about my hair at the moment, it's messy and I've just given up with it. Mess = bedhead = good looking. That's my convincing anyway.
It's officially WINTER! ❄ 
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