Tuesday, 31 March 2015


It's weird to say, but a few days back, I watched a clip on Facebook called "The funniest moment on Gogglebox so far." Now having never seen Gogglebox, and seeing adverts and having a preconceived idea that the program was in fact, utter b*****ks, I didn't expect too much from this show. 
I watched the clip anyway, and I was hysterical. If you wonder which clip I in fact refer to, it is this one:
Sandy & Sandra Bug Swat.
I could honestly, and have honestly, watched that clip over and over, probably about 9 times or more now, and the facial reaction from Sandra makes me hysterical, and the fact that Sandy acts more like her parent than her best friend!
Okay, so I'll admit, I was hooked from that moment. Since yesterday, I've watched the entire of Series 5 on catch-up, and I'm now working my way through Series 4 in my breaks from revision, such as lunch time and longer tea breaks.

I can honestly say, I don't watch a lot of television, but I have had, or do have, a few guilty pleasures which include:
Come Dine With Me, Coach Trip, and now Gogglebox.

Of course, I love shows like Top Gear, as well, but I'm not a massive watcher of TV anymore. I find that if there is a comedy show on, or Live at the Apollo, I'll watch it, or My Family, or something comical, then yes, sure I'll enjoy it, but other TV just doesn't interest me too much anymore. Oooh and I forgot, anything wildlife(y) narrated by David Attenborough, David Tennant or Benedict Cumberbatch is a must watch. Especially when Mr Cumberbuttom cannot pronounce 'Penguin'!
 No clue what I refer to? This is what I speak of:
Penguin Pronounciation - Benedict Cumberbatch on Graham Norton.
(Keep your eyes open for Miranda saying "it's arousing and terrifying at the same time" hahahaha)
Anyway so back to Gogglebox, I've cried at about 4 episodes! I never knew I was so sentimental! I cried at 999 What's Your Emergency, when the man lost his wife on TV (because honestly, if you didn't have tears in your eyes at this, then I'm sorry, but you, you are a heartless bum!) Wow. I'm really on fire today.
I also cried at the 'Gladiator' scene, whereby Leon told June that when he died, he'd be with her always, and that, that right there, that made me sob!
June & Leon (as usual Leon is mortifying June!)
My favourite couples by far though, are June and Leon, and Dom and Steph. I love how Dom and Steph are always holding hands, always laughing, and when Steph said she hoped she would never get that old to die alone without Dom, he said "Oh don't worry, the moment you s*** yourself, you're going to fall out the window by accident." That had me in stitches.

Steph & Dom.
I absolutely love this new show, (it's not new to the public, just new to me) and I absolutely love it. I know, some would call it low level humour, but we can't be completely posh all of the time. I mean, I pride myself on being and appearing 'posh' but I guess my humour can occasionally be my downfall. Whoever marries me, will have to cope with my laugh - I know, it's awful, but laughing is a big percentage of happiness.
Another 'interesting' moment was this, but if you are not used to hearing, or do not like hearing the F word, please DO NOT watch it. That's my warning, as it isn't exactly PG-13 but we all know most 13 year olds know worse words than this by now, but I'm doing it so I know you are choosing to view it if you want to:
Stephen Tells Chris How It Is - Gogglebox Scene.
Have a BEAUTIFUL day. Why am I so hyper, all I had was a cheese wheat free Panini and a cuppa?
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Monday, 30 March 2015


I think I've spent this weekend preparing myself mentally for revision (crying face).

Plus I was feeling a bit irritated when I woke up Saturday morning (generally for no good reason) so I did an hour of zumba and fourty sit ups. I won't deny, I think I overdid it a bit, because I felt like I had broken a rib yesterday *facepalm* At least my body feels more toned after it. The way I see it, you can't please everyone in this life, and I have felt for a long time, like if the right person did come along, I'm not sure I'd be able to be in a relationship due to being so body-conscious, which is why I've been working so hard on becoming less self conscious, and if I'm completely honest, I do feel like I've managed to slightly change my opinion of myself. It all goes to show, as I always say (and now I sound like a stereo on repeat) it's all in the mind. Working on my fitness and health, smiling more, letting my emotions be free and not so bottled up, I feel better about myself and the life around me in general. I don't think I've ever really spoken about it, but after my grandma passed away, I couldn't sleep for months, it would take me many hours to finally get to sleep due to the fear of death, and the fear of falling asleep and losing someone else I loved. But now, I've managed to expel those fears. At least I can say I've learnt to face my fears and confront them, and I don't feel afraid of anything now. (Except one thing, but that's an irrational fear that I've had since I was three when my grandma hated this thing as well) *crying with laughter* "oh Nanama, you didn't half have some crazy ideas and I can still remember some of your reactions to my phobia.... Well, our phobia if I'm honest* 

I've been listening to some different music for the last two days, it's another David Guetta (because we all know I love him and his music)

What I Did For Love - David Guetta ft. Emeli Sande.

"Talking loud, talking crazy
Lock me outside
Prayin' for the rain to come
Bone dry again
Guess it's true what they say
I'm always late
Say you need a little space
But I'm in your way

It hurts, that I remember every scar
And I've learned
But living is the hardest part

I can't believe what I did for love
I can't believe what I did for us
Oh, passionately burning to flames
Stitch myself up, then I do it again
I can't believe (I can't believe) what I did for love
What I did for love

What I did for love
What I did for love
What I did for us
What I did for love
What I did for love
What I did for love
What I did for us
What I did for love

I'm a fool for your games
But I always play
Can't admit it was a waste
Just too much at stake

It hurts, that I remember every scar (I remember every scar)
And I've learned
But living is the hardest part

I can't believe what I did for love (I can't believe)
I can't believe what I did for us
Oh passionately burning to flames
Stitch myself up, then I do it again
I can't believe what I did for love
What I did for love

What I did for love
What I did for love
What I did for us
What I did for love
What I did for love
What I did for love

I can't believe what I did for love. "

And I would like to just clarify - this song doesn't apply to me, or my love life. I still care about the same person, no changes there. I just get concerned sometimes but nothing has changed. Everything is still the same.

Have a beautiful day, and keep trying, and you'll succeed.

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Saturday, 28 March 2015


Half a lyric title, of course.
"I'll never forget that feeling
When I watched you disappear
And you made me stop believing
I could fight away the fear
Now the smoke has cleared
And the end is near
It was my illusion
Like a broken dream I was incomplete
But your love was never the missing piece

I feel like I am dreaming again
I feel like I am seeing again
I feel like I am breathing again
I got it under control
I got it under control
I got it under control

All that's real is faded, like a car into the night
Like painkiller I take it
And I watch the world ignite
Now the smoke has cleared
And the end is near
It was my illusion.
Like a broken dream I was incomplete
But your love was never the missing piece

I feel like I am dreaming again
I feel like I am seeing again
I feel like I am breathing again
I got it under control
I got it under control

I got it under control

I feel like I am dreaming again
I feel like I am seeing again
I feel like I am breathing again
I got it under control."

I can't stop listening to Ellie Goulding. It's the only thing that for many years perfectly addresses how I'm feeling when I'm torn or feel confused. It's been the music that I've turned to for many years. It's gotten me through hours of coursework as I've already said before, and ignites something within me. It'e emotive, and I love it. And can we just take a minute to appreciate how stunning she is, and how perfect her figure is? We probably all know how much of a sports enthusiast she is, but damn, if I had a body like that, I'd probably be wearing super skimpy things too (crying with laughter face, use your imagination!)

"I'm caught in the crossfire of my own thoughts, all I can see is my blood on the rocks, as you steal my soul from me."

Last night, after meeting mum after work, and picking up the shopping, I ended up just listening to this song, and "Under Control" as well as "Explosions" for ages before I decided to do three hours of revision at gosh knows what time, I'm strange, I know.

PS if you haven't seen Maleficent, you really need to, I was amazed at how incredible this film was. I'll probably be seeing it tonight again with mum as she hasn't seen it yet!
I hope you're all doing well, and not freaking out about the upcoming exams. Be brave. You're stronger than you think.
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Friday, 27 March 2015


I feel like at my age, I should be less self-conscious than I am. I mean, it's really getting to the point of being ridiculous. I get so nervous about wearing certain things, it's just stupid it really is. A friend of mine took some photos of me and another friend today (without me knowing) and whilst I look awful in one (blinking/laughing face) I don't look as appalling as I thought I would when I found out she'd been taking some. It does go to prove, it's all just a big fear, in your head, and whether it's me, or you, you should never feel like that. I mean, let's not get cocky about ourselves, but don't be so afraid and self conscious all the time.

I went out to dinner with a very lovely family friend yesterday, as he is going to live in Greece for the next two years and we might not see him again unless he comes for holidays here in England as he has rented out his English home, which is very sad, as he is really, really wonderful company and sparks some very interesting conversations.

One of the conversations that came about yesterday, was the inevitable; inter-perception (I thought this was a word, but apparently, according to the high and mighty google, it isn't. Disappointed face)

The conversation really roused me, in a positive way, as it made me think about how we perceive ourselves, and how others perceive us. It certainly made me think harder about the world, not that I really need to do that, because, I daydream a lot anyway. 

Speaking of daydreams, I saw a black cat yesterday with a CURLY piggy tail. It was the strangest, most amazing thing I've seen in a very long time (apparently, I do not get out much) but when I told my mum this, she asked if I had fallen asleep and dreamed it (oh she of little faith) thankfully, a friend on the bus also saw the mystery piggy cat too, so she could verify that I had actually seen it, wasn't going mad, and hadn't fallen down a rabbit hole.

Anyway, it is now Easter brealk, 2 weeks, and yet I can't feel excited about this as all it holds is endless revision -.- However, despite this, it's not the end of the world, and my Wii Zumba kit has arrived and is awesome, so I can do that everyday, before revision, so that makes me happy.

Anyway, I should really get off the internet, and get back to the real world, maybe I should go and meet my mother after work....

Have a beautiful weekend if I don't blog to you during the weekend - I genuinely have no blogging scheme at all anymore, it's as and when I feel 'inspired' shall we say?

Music choice is one of my favourite 'How To Train Your Dragon' theme pieces, and it's the background of the HTTYD Rise Of Berk app on the appstore (yes, shameful, I play it and enjoy it)

This Is Berk - HTTD Score.

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Saturday, 21 March 2015


So this evening I went out with Courtney, her sister, her sister's friend, and their lovely mum to a place I've never been before for dinner. It was such a wonderful evening, the place played great music, and the atmosphere was lovely. It was so good to catch up with her again so soon!

I will admit I look shoddy in the photo (that has now been deleted) I am trying to lose weight (apart from this evening and I had an unhealthy dinner, but everyone did so heeeey I'm a sheep apparently!) I also dyed streaks of blue into my hair on Friday night (it went terribly wrong with it all on one side) and I've washed it about 8/9 times since, trying to fade out the colour as I hate it, and much preferred it blonde. Why, oh, why do I always get such silly ideas, thinking I'm amazing at doing my own hair and then manage to mess it up? Silly Samantha strikes again. oooooh sibilance. Sorry, too much coursework in my head right now. Terminology being blurted out too often.
This evening I have been reflecting back to something that happened in our lesson on Thursday. My friend Dominique was telling me how she watched part way through the play through of Tomb Raider 2013, after I had told her how incredible the storyline was. I've personally not played it myself, because the game is so tense, and the death scenes are actually horrendous if you mess up. I really can't be dealing with that, however I watched the full 3/4 hours play-through in stages last year, with minimal death scenes, and really enjoyed the storyline. It also made me think about the two Tomb Raider films released. I enjoyed the first film the most, and Cradle of Life (the 2nd) came second in my mind. However, it did partially overtake the first in the mid stages, travelling across China.
I found Angelina as Lara to be very effective, and always admired her in the films. The first film is also how I came to hear a piece of William Blake for the first time, which would become my forever favourite piece of poetry. I also adored Angelina in Maleficent which I recently saw (at last!!) and completely and utterly adored. She's just so amazing at what she does! 
"To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour."
Lastly, I shall leave you with my favourite song this week that I've had on repeat:
Clean Bandit - Rather Be.
"We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea
But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be
I would wait forever, exalted in the sea

As long as I am with you, my heart continues to beat,"

Goodnight, and sweet dreams, to whoever you are, wherever you are. If I could give you a hug, I would.

 Keep smiling, and enjoy the rest of your weekend. 

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Thursday, 19 March 2015


.... In answer to my title question, it would be ZUMBA!

I've been working out every day for nearly 2 weeks, and whilst I saw fast weight loss in the past week, the scales aren't showing it anymore, but my abs feel tighter and more toned, and my arms definitely are feeling it! Just Dance 3 is certainly a step up (no pun I swear, I've never even see those movies nor do I want to) from Just Dance 2. There is another workout song from Reggaeton, this time it is called 'Boom' it's a good workout for sure, but it's not the highest 'sweat' category on the game. There are a lot of golden oldies, and I will certainly have to invest in Just Dance 1, 4, 2014 and 2015 sometime in the future. I did purchase Zumba Fitness Wii with the fitness belt recently, and I'm just waiting on that one to arrive. I can't wait to hear some 'official' Zumba Style music. Pitbull's music is generally associated with Zumba due to it's fast pace and heavy beats, and whilst I'm not the most up to date with his music, I love some of the collaborations, like with JLo, etc. All of those are good tunes. *Resisting the urge to find that meme that so frequently comes up in comments on social media about 'this is a tune mate' or something ridiculous*

I've done my 20 minutes of Zumba this morning, and 30 sit ups, and had my shower, and so I am just sitting in my towel with my dressing gown around me, bad practise I know, but meh, I wanted to write this whilst it was fresh in my mind. 

I'm going to give an advance warning about my music choice today, it has some inappropriate scenes and swear words for younger readers/viewers. Although saying that, I know a lot of 14 year olds on Instagram knowing some things that I didn't know until I was at least 16. *cringe face*
I haven't chosen the original music video, as that is far too inappropriate, and I'd like to think that if I am in some way a role model, I don't want to let you down. Plus the woman in this does some disgusting things (eg the way she eats, ladies this is not how to impress a guy!), and says some disgusting things, and just generally behaves more like a man (sorry to those wonderful, well mannered, incredible male individuals who avoid this stereotype, I wish I could say I had met many of you) but I love the concept of this, it's about setting yourself free, and living your life how YOU want to live it.

I Could Be The One - Avicii vs Nicki Romero. 

Anyhoot, time to do and dry my hair and do some makeup. And I should probably get dressed too...

Just going to leave you with this, from the 'This Girl Can' campaign, which I 100% support. Finally, some recognition is being shown to help young women, and teenagers get back into sport, because it is exactly as I heard the news say yesterday, when girls hit puberty, that's when they usually stop exercising due to embarrassment, and hello, I am a walking example of this. But now? Nothing can stop me.

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Tuesday, 17 March 2015


Yesterday was such an amazing day. I found out that I got an A in my environmental studies mock, yes boys and girls, this lady, right here, got an A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I felt like skipping round the college (which I did to some extent, without looking like a complete idiot) But yes, a lot of revising does pay off so it is worth studying if you want to achieve something. Now just got to crack the literature and boom, we'll be there.
Is it just me, or is it super toasty today as well?
I finally watched How To Train Your Dragon 2 (HTTYD 2) yesterday, and I have to admit, I was crying. It was so sad, but so beautiful. What a magnificent storyline, and of course, I loved every minute of it. I particularly loved the addition of new dragons like Cloud Jumper, and the alpha dragon. Pretty impressive animation!

Today I've got a lot of meetings in college about various matters, so I've come in early instead of being at home doing Zumba (which I haven't done for two days, so when I get home, I will have to do) on top of that, there is Waitrose Madagascan Vanilla Custard in the fridge which is my treat for getting an A in my mock, so to earn that I need to work out a bit. But dayum, I do love that custard... *sniffs air* Someone definitely burnt the toast at college again, it always smells of burnt toast. Eugh.

(Not my image)
Anyway, I've just been so elated recently, it's lovely. Less worrying, more smiling, and I'm back to being chirpy. Nothing puts people off more than a moodymug. 

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Friday, 13 March 2015


So as you have all read, I'm debating closure of thegirlcriedbeauty, as it is so infrequently posted on, (closure in my mind in this case means ceasing further posting, and instead posting here whilst still leaving the blog open as an archive I guess).
 So I might as well as post this here. This week, I decided to try a 'less is more' makeup regime, by cutting out foundation, eyeshadow, bronzer, and wearing considerably less mascara. At the end of this week, I can genuinely say I just feel like I look tired all the time without a lot of mascara. For me, it's no mascara at all, or lots of it for fuller, black lashes. as mine are the same colour as my hair (dark ash brown) So this week, all I have been wearing/using is eyebrow shadow (it's actually eyeshadow but it's the same shade as my hair so I use it to fill in my brows), concealer (my skin isn't perfect yet, hormone related I think, otherwise I wouldn't even bother with concealer), and mascara.
I can't believe I had braces for 9 months. It literally did nothing for me, so if you're of the age where you are thinking of getting them, make sure you have some teeth out if it's right for you, I didn't have teeth out in the end as a different orthodontist told me I'd look like I'd been "hit in the face by a car" as it would "squish" my face up, due to the "shape of" my face. Lovely jubbely. -.- I'm also extremely tempted to dye my hair brown at the bottom again. I'm restless about hair apparently.
 I feel like I genuinely look so tired, so as much as I promote the 'bare faced campaign' I really don't think it works for me. However, I have learnt to not wear foundation. I wore it daily for about a year, and going without it makes me feel so much better, so I don't think I'll be going back to it any time soon, but the mascara, I miss having bigger, prettier eyes. Plus, trying to only use concealer for blemishes doesn't cover my dark circles under my eyes. I didn't have any until about 2/3 years ago when I became ill, so I'm wondering if it's either that or age.
Off topic, and away from beauty, this week has been fairly enjoyable. Today was the regular one lesson that I love, and it was genuinely hilarious, with a new way of learning terminology. I was a bit restless during the lesson due to having a poor night sleeping again (any suggestions on how to sleep better? I've read a shed load of articles, and nothing is really helping as I already do most of the suggestions) Plus, a conversation came up about the word 'bae' which I genuinely CANNOT stand. I use it in jest about people, but obviously I don't have a real 'bae' if I must use that term. It would be quite cute if it wasn't used as a flippant word, and the fact it means "Before anyone else" which I did not know until today, when discussed, it came out, that 'bae' could mean not exclusive. Which to me, is just, *eeeugh* I'm sorry. To me, cheating is a cardinal sin. If you're not happy in that relationship, get out of it. If you think you're better off somewhere else, with someone else... you get the drill. I believe in faithfulness. I believe in exclusivity. Call me old fashioned, but meh, as I have said before, I'm not as immature as when I'm with others, when I'm alone. I can actually be sensible. (Even though I know that's probably hard to believe) -.-
I think I might either work out (she says through gritted teeth as today she just reaaaaally does not feel like it) or take a bath. I would love to do a face mask too, but I feel like my skin would go mad at me if I did. A+ sensitive skin, A+ you annoying rat bag. Hmmm actually I really seriously fancy a good swim. Maybe I'll ask mum if she wants to go swimming.... :') *checks swim timetable* Okay maybe not, it's closed to the general public -.- And there is no way I'm going to swim in the sea. *shudder*
I can't really find a song to sum me up today nor my mood, I guess for today, this can do:
What About Us - The Saturdays.
In terms of a very brief 'love' update for the readers who love 'love' like I do, then know that everything is still the same, still the same guy. I'm not fickle. 
*points at previous 5 year long love references to prove this*
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Wednesday, 11 March 2015


When do I ever not have a lyric title any more?
Today I feel like I've achieved so much! Finally, I've pieced together all the masses of pieces of coursework that have been floating around the house, and managed to construct and finish the commentary for the second piece, as well as finishing the second piece and constructing suitable annotated style models for the second piece of coursework. Right now, I'm feeling genuinely on top of the world (crying with laughter emoticon here, please use your imagination since we all now know they do not show up on blogger)

Whilst getting on with the studies, I've been listening to a lot of Flo Rida music. Okay, I know I'll probably get a lot of ' -.- ' faces being pulled at the screen right now, but it's something that really helps my brain get focused. You know when you NEED to get on with something, and you're not sure how to go about it? Well I put some Flo Rida on, (Not Right Round, no no no no no) and I'm ready to kick it. (Kick the studies I mean, in a ... metaphorical sense. I'd love to kick my work sometimes, but I'm not sure that'd go down very well!) :') That's a crying with laughter emoji and it'll do for now.

I particularly like listening to:

Flo Rida - Sugar.

Because it's got a great beat, and although I don't really agree with calling a girl sugar (oh hell no) or candy, I do still like this song :') Also love Higher by The Saturdays that features Flo Rida. My word, I sound like a sixteen year old again - eeeeek please don't take me back there, I'm so not going back there again. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, burnt it.

The Saturdays ft. Flo Rida - Higher.

"I'm doing nothing;
                                                                  'Cause then at least I'm doing nothing wrong.
And I'm gon' staying on my own,
And turn off my telephone,
If nothing's gained then nothing's won."

I also like: Club can't handle me right now (Oh the memories are strong with this one), Wild One, and Whistle. All dodgy as heck lyrics, but oh well. I like the beat, I like the music, so I just ignore those dodgy lyrics!

Fabulous cat be fabulous.
I really have to go and do some Zumba! I've been working out a lot lately, and LOVING IT. Zumba is basically ditching the WORKOUT and joining the PARTY. It's a fun, very fast paced way to lose weight. I find I do lose quite a considerable amount of weight if I do it frequently and eat healthily. I'm cutting out sugar from my life (oh the irony of liking a song called Sugar) and doing more Zumba. And I feel great for it. Did an hour on Monday night, 40 minutes Tuesday morning, and plan to do that again today. However, it is a little annoying when only one song on Just Dance 2 is really Zumba appropriate with Zumba moves, so I've ordered Just Dance 3, in the hope there will be more Zumba moves. I'm also very tempted to order Zumba Wii so I can use that too.... Anyway, toodle pip. Time to get the workout clothes on, and KICK FAT.

Love you all, (kiss emoji doesn't exist either, sorry, so my face will just have to do instead!)

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Monday, 9 March 2015


"There's an old voice in my head 
that's holding me back 
Well tell her that I miss our little talks. 

Soon it will all be over, buried with our past 
We used to play outside when we were young 
and full of life and full of love. "

Little Talks - Of Monsters & Men.

Hello everyone, hello one and all. I just really particularly fancied listening to Of Monsters & Men today on the bus.

Whilst on the morning drive to college, I couldn't help but think about how much I can't wait for it to be Summer. Sitting in the sunshine, swimming in the sea (I braved it last year, although I'm not sure I will be again this year, it was darn cold!!) Pimms in the sun - *sighs* so lovely. But then I remember that I'll be awaiting exam results like all other students, and be in transition from college to university, and that's really quite terrifying. Hmm. I need to start facing my fears. 

Recently I've decided that I'd like to get fit before the Summer (as always), but I've decided to do Zumba from the comfort of my own home. I've whipped the Nintendo Wii out again, and I'm using Just Dance 2 to shake away my imperfections. I love to dance to Reggaetown 'Baby Girl' as it's the most perfect Zumba pace, and the moves shown are actual Zumba moves that I've been taught at private Zumba classes that I used to attend. I left my first Zumba class due to it being so overcrowded. One small dance/gym room filled with women of all ages was just unbearable as you could hardly breathe let alone move in the end, and despite loving the music choices, I left. The second private Zumba class was in an old church hall, and the accoustics were not very good, plus there was the atmosphere that felt like everyone was watching you. Or maybe that's just me being self conscious? Hmmm.. perhaps. 

Recently mum and I went to a famous garden, and she took some photos of me for the blog, so here they are:

Coat: River Island
Dress: Primark
Super Cosy Tights: Primark
Boots: Vagabond (They got so filthy out in the fields, that I had to hurriedly clean them and polish them again this morning before college haha!)

All: Same as before
Tortoiseshell Sunglasses: Primark

Such pretty crocuses!
I'm just exploring some new Of Monsters & Men music, but haven't found anything that I particularly adore yet.... I also keep debating making my blonde dip dye pink or blue again. But then again it took so long to wash the colours out last time..... Hmmmm. Wish lavender stayed in my hair better and didn't go blue overnight! 

"When I'm without you
I'm something weak
I don't wanna be needing your love
I just wanna be deep in your love
And it's killing me when you're away
Ooh, baby,
'Cause I really don't care where you are

My broken pieces
You pick them up
Don't leave me hanging, hanging
Come give me some
When I'm without ya
I'm so insecure
You are the one thing
The one thing, I'm living for"

Okay, yes, I love, love love this song. And I love the fact that Maroon 5 actually turned up to weddings to surprise happy couples. So gorgeous!! 

Love to you all, I recently had to make my Instagram and Twitter private due to being followed by an account I didn't want to know anything about me, so I have had to make them private, but if you'd like to keep up, send me a follower request, as I now consider them on a person to person basis (Oh the joys of being so fabulous) *Seriously though, I jest*


Imagine Dragons - On Top Of The World.

"I've had the highest mountains, I've had the deepest rivers."

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Thursday, 5 March 2015


Ain't Nobody Got Time For That - Sweet Brown.
I don't care if it's gotten old, I'm posting it today because I find it to still be hilarious. Plus, it reminds me of evenings enjoying the old Russell Howard shows, before all the serious swearing and vulgarity came into play. I fail to see how vulgarity is funny. I'm into clean, original comedy, so that's life. 
I haven't written on my blog in quite a few days. Well, I've not been incredibly cheerful and I didn't want to keep bringing negativity here. I was just having a bad week, a lot of negative thoughts, and being nervous. Silly, silly Samantha.
Finally, I've got everything under control again, and I'm feeling a lot less negative. I just get so panicky. Thinking about the future is a terrifying thought, and I've been so nervous recently. Yes, all because of stupid mock exams. Oh, no wait, it's because I'm silly for letting that get to me. As well as that, I keep thinking about a quote I heard the other day:
"You're just in love with the theory of love."
Well, personally, I'm not just in love with the theory of love, but it makes me think harder about things: how do we know if what we feel is real? Real enough to be believed in, felt and entrusted to our heart, rather than our head? What sets us apart from our soul's mirror? Why can't we overcome our fears?
Philosophical Samantha is getting her philosophical hat on. I'd imagine it looks something like this:
Anyway, that aside, the weather has been beautiful here recently, and I've been trying to make the most of it. It's cloudy today unfortunately, but were it sunny, I'd be rushing to the seaside to sit in the warmth.
This song has been one that I've loved since the day it was brought out, it's just so peaceful and reflective.
Owl City - Fireflies.

"You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

'Cause they'd fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I would just stand and, stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth, turns, slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep,
'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they try to teach me how to dance

A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread...
To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell"

And another from Owl City, and Yuna:

I keep saying to never give up on love, and yet I'm the only one who keeps questioning whether this love is worth the heartache again? It's true: it's better to be in love than out of love, but the course of love never did run smooth.

Love as always,
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Sunday, 1 March 2015


"Hey, once upon a younger year
When all our shadows disappeared
The animals inside came out to play
Hey, went face to face with all our fears
Learned our lessons through the tears
Made memories we knew would never fade

"When you get older
Your wild heart will live for younger days
Think of me if ever you're afraid."

He said, "One day you'll leave this world behind
So live a life you will remember."

Avicii - The Nights.

And yes, all the pictures and GIFs on this post are going to be Lilo & Stitch related, because, I feel like it, and it really is the only thing that stops me feeling so nervous before exams.

Anyway, this week are mock exams with a collapsed timetable, and whilst I try to avoid moaning, I am just so irritated that my hardest mock exam on Tuesday is from 3.00pm to 5.00pm. We don't usually finish that late. Ugh. I am so grateful my mum is on holiday this week as she has offered to take me to and from mock exams (and I'm so so grateful)! I'll be definitely taking a little lucky exam mascot. I have revised, and I feel like I'm okay with tomorrow's exam, so if I do really badly, at least I have tried. God, I really need to stop being so negative. I'm not this bad usually, I promise, you already know I usually have a sunny disposition, with a teensy bit of grumpiness if someone annoys me, but that's not usually the case. I am usually very happy, and positive, I'm just nervous, that's all.

Enough moaning about me and feelings of nervousness. Silly me. There are just times when you want someone to just hug you and say everything is going to be okay, because although I do know it, I just sometimes need a bit of reassurance. I'm grateful to mum for being so accepting of me and for understanding that I do try really hard, I just feel like in later years, I'm not the brightest cookie in the jar. Why did I use this silly, useless term? Well dear reader (okay yes, that was more patronising than I was hedging for) it is because I feel like using it. That sort of mood. Plus I'm allowed to feel that way today. 

"These are the nights that never die."



 Never give up. Never lose faith in what you're doing and where you're going. Never give up on love, know that you're not insane for wishing you could read minds sometimes, know that you'll be okay. Eventually, you'll glow like a solar fire, and no-one will be able to stop you, they'll just be able to bathe in the warmth you radiate, and love you for who you are.

Probably the most random post I've ever written but my thoughts are scattered like marbles on a floor. This is my way of collecting them up.

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