Tuesday, 30 June 2015


  "Love, love is a funny thing

Takes you where you least expect it,
Throws you out to sea 
Oh and you
You can either choose to swim
Or surround yourself with water
Let it take you in

If there’s something that you wanna know
If there’s something
Show me where to go
And I will give myself to you
I will give myself to you

Hate, hate is it a difficult thing
It takes you where you wanna go
And starts to suck you in
And you
You can either fall into it
Or surround yourself with the good things
And never let it win

If there’s something that you wanna know
If there’s something
Show me where to go
And I will give myself to you
I will give myself to you


If there’s something that you wanna know
If there’s something
Show me where to go
And I will give myself to you
I will give myself to you."

Cape Cub - Swim Remix.

I've been discovering many new Tropical House remixes lately, and I'm not sure if I've told you before, but I really love Rude by Magic, because Courtney and I's favourite local band play that song with an amazing singer whose voice is full of soul, and they have an African drum, guitars and a sax, and when they get the drum and sax out, we know we're in for an incredible evening! I'll be honest, I can't remember half the things I write on here because they're spur of the moment, but certain things stick in my mind so I guess we don't have to give up on my mind yet.
Ah yes, my mind, which decided to wander off somewhere some years ago, I think it's back now though you'll be reassured to hear.

As much as I adore the original, I found this recently:

MAGIC! - Rude Remix (Tropical House)

Absolute heavenly bliss.

One of the funniest scenes from old school Gogglebox.

Anyway, the sun is shining, I must get on, I have an appointment later!
I hope you're all well, KEEP SMILING OKAY? If you're not smiling, then.... think of fluffy kittens! Unless you don't like cats, then that'd be a little bit awkward.

Best Wishes,
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Sunday, 28 June 2015



Last night was amazing. I saw so many friends at prom, and had a great time, and got kissed on the cheek by three people who had too much to drink (bless them) and it was really brilliant overall.

I can't listen to the songs I was listening to with Courtney whilst we got ready like one of my favourite tropical house sax remixes, because it invokes such strong emotions right now (seriously I might well up haha)

It was just beautiful. The prom was so enjoyable, and the staff band were really brilliant, so that sort of made the night!

The venue was gorgeous (and 10 minutes down the hill from where I live so that was a bonus!)

From Left To Right: Joe, Alastair, Me, Adam (@adam0597 on twitter), and Courtney.
Getting ready with Courtney beforehand really made it so much more amazing though, she got to mine for 3pm, and we had Prosecco, and did our hair and makeup in my room whilst listening to some very special music, music that we've always felt great nostalgia for, and I introduced her to some new Tropical House music, which I feel is just incredible, it can take you from an overcast day in Britain to the Maldives or Bahamas in a matter of moments!


Three of us left at 10.10pm, rather than 11pm, because we decided to go to a local cocktail lounge. When we got there however, it didn't look like our scene, so we went to our regular haunt that we visit on Thursday nights! It was truly amazing, and Courtney actually danced! Hoorah!! 

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Saturday, 27 June 2015


"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race, and the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

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Friday, 26 June 2015



La Roux - Bulletproof Remix.

I've always loved Bulletproof since it was released, and yesterday, whilst checking out some unknown tropical and deep house music, I came across this little beauty! *lovey eyes* 

Listen to that sexy sax! Yaaaaasssss it's amazing!

There are certain songs that work better as remixes than originals, and others, that really shouldn't be touched. I heard a 'Rather Be - Clean Bandit' remix, and had to cover my ears. It almost destroyed it for me, and that song, is so precious.

However, there are also some songs that work beautifully original, and remixed, like:

Aloe Blacc - I Need A Dollar Remix.

I could dance to these two all day. Especially the above 'I Need A Dollar', it's absolute bliss. 


"Well let me tell you somthin' all that glitters ain't gold
hey hey
It's been a long old trouble long old troublesome road
And I'm looking for somebody come and help me carry this load"

I have to go out soon. but I'm just relaxing a bit, in between job searches, I managed to regain my voluntary job where I worked last Summer, so that's great news as I loved it there. It's a shame it isn't paid (OBVIOUSLY it's voluntary before anyone thinks I'm being stupid) but it's experience, it's enjoyable, and I can say I've worked in the voluntary sector for two consecutive Summers.

When people say 'Tropical House' these are the images I typically associate with the music:


Neither of those women are me (OBVIOUSLY) I'm not that golden *yet*, I'm not that toned *yet* and I haven't been abroad in years. *sigh*

 I need to buy myself an exercise bike.... *makes mental note*

At least Tropical House takes me away from dreary old England, which can get so boring.... UNLESS IT'S PROM TOMORROW!

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P.S I'm still happy, still in love, still thoughtful, and still loving life. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to tell someone how I feel. I always fear rejection and over thinking. And the fact that sometimes, my heart pulls harder than my head.

Thursday, 25 June 2015


I can't believe there are only 2 days until prom, I am so, so, so excited!

There are just so many things happening at the moment, it's crazy! I'm in the midst of job applications, planning ahead seems to be the theme of this month! 

I'll be honest, for prom, I've planned it for about a year *grits teeth* yep, I am a planner, as I've said before, I like to be organised. 

Hmmmm I have a busy day ahead. I really ought to have eaten some breakfast, but I've been taking full advantage of having lie ins! I wake up naturally at the moment between 9.30 and 10. Pretty bad I know, but I have blackout curtains now (WHICH STINK!) I say they stink because they smell so plastic(ky) eurgh! And even washing them doesn't get the smell out so I hate that aspect. Otherwise, I'm getting good night's sleep now, as the neighbours light would come on at goodness knows what hour in the morning, and now it doesn't affect me *smug little grin*.

Eenie Meenie - Sean Kingston.

Okay, explanation required for the above song. I can't stand Justin Bieber - sorry to all those with Bieber Fever, he just isn't my cup of tea, never has been, never will be, I don't dig that "I'm a teenager with a bad attitude, I think I'm so hot" act. Not my thing. Plus he's really rather young for my taste. However, I've always liked Sean Kingston, and this song is no exception to that. The pairing of the two of them singing, works well for the song, and therefore, I try to switch off from the fact that JB is in it. Meh. 

I finally managed to sort my Instagram bio too, so it's not centered because you wouldn't believe how hard it is to center that thing, Instagram automatically cuts out spaces, and it doesn't allow you to press enter/return to move onto the next line, so I'm pleased I've sussed it out at last!

Simple things please simple minds. I'm not simple though, or at least, I hope not.

And once again, Samantha has no idea where she is going with this post....

I just keep dancing (I was going to say this morning, and checking the clock, it is now afternoon) to the 'Fast Car' remix. *LOVEY EYES* It's this one:

Fast Car - Remix.

Stunning, I love it!

Anyway, I hope you all have a B-E-A-UUUUUTIFUL DAY!

Yep, that was a Bruce Almighty reference right there. I haven't seen that in years, but I swear it taught me how to spell beautiful *facepalm*

Love you,
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PS. Live, Laugh, Love.

Sunday, 21 June 2015



I am chilling with a Pimms this evening. 

I had a good day, getting lots of chores done, and collecting a new swimming costume from M&S because my gorgeous new blue one literally snapped in the washing machine on a hand wash cycle, on the metal ring :( I've got to take it back on Tuesday, and collect my new one, but I'm gutted because they didn't have another blue one :( They only had a red version (one of my least favourite colours) but it looks a bit orangey/pink with some turquoise, so I guess I'll get used to it. I wish I could get mine repaired. I don't think mine is repairable though, I wish I could, and get my money back since I've had it less than a month, but they'll probably want it back to prove it's broken to be able to give me my refund. But I just feel annoyed as it was so pretty. (And I'm the world's biggest fusspot about getting a decent costume/bikini as you all know why - 


No I'm joking, seriously, it's the chest area and the fact I don't want to wear a granny costume.

Aside from swimsuits, I'm all set for prom now, I picked up the last beauty bits and pieces that I needed as I'm either running out or didn't have, and finally found a super pretty lipstick that wasn't one by MAC, because honestly, I don't want to pay £15.00 for a lipstick again. I have 5 of them, all different colours (none suitable for this event) that I wear a lot, but I didn't want to pay that much again, on this occasion. So instead, I found one by Barrie M, whom I've never had a lipstick from, only nail polishes.

I really don't know where it was that I was going with this post, I really, really don't.

I of the Storm - Of Monsters & Men (OMAM)
Anyway, you're magic, truly, you're magic. Thanks for reading this. It helps me feel better. And hopefully, it brings a smile to your face, if not, I'm not doing my job. :(

I'm just torn. Really torn. About a lot of things. Don't get me wrong, I know what I feel, I know what I want, what I want to achieve, where I want to go, who I wish to spend my time with, but I just don't know if I'll get those wishes. I'll know most of the answers in August. I'll know. I hate August. The month I lost my grandma, and it's bitter memories. I'm still haunted by dark memories from that month. It's one of the very few things I truly hate. That deep feeling in the pit of your stomach, the knot that builds up with fear and resent. We were asked many months ago to do a Room 101 experience as to what we'd put in Room 101, what we truly hated. and I said patronising people. I take it back. I'd rather put August as a month in there. I fear it, I resent it so much because it's a dark time for me. I try to spend it around people I care about to distract myself. I lose myself on the 11th. I try to distract myself as much as possible, and sometimes it just catches me off guard. It did last week. For some reason, right by my last exam, I kept crying, and remembering her, and dreaming about her, and wishing I could have just a few more hours with her. It really, really hurts still.

I Of The Storm - Of Monsters & Men.

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Saturday, 20 June 2015



A week today is our college prom, and I am so insanely excited! I've been planning everything for a while, and have finally decided today how to do my hair, but my make-up is still proving to be challenging. I've got the style and shaping right, but I'm still 'umming' and 'ahhing' over colours. I'm stuck between going with something opposing my outfit, or something matching it?

 I don't want to go away from colour coordinating, but then again, I don't want to go for something that matches everything, that it's really embarrassing.

Hmmm. Time to call in the bestie I think. *Proceeds to message best friend*

I guess I'm a perfectionist. When I'm really excited for something, I plan months, and months in advance, to ensure everything goes smoothly. Put it down to being a Capricorn, if you'd like, but I do plan vigorously. My mum, an Aquarian, is quite the opposite, and we can often find ourselves at loggerheads because of this. She's more of a spur of the moment, I'm going here, there, wherever, right now, want to come? Got to do your make-up and hair? you're going to be half an hour? I'm not going to wait, type of person.

Hmm thoughts, so many thoughts.
Hopes, aspirations, desires, imagination, magic. All words that enter my mind right now.
SQUEE. I'm. just. so. excited. For prom, for Summer, for EVERYTHING! There is so much to look forward to!

It would be nice if I hadn't bought stupid shoes for summer and gone and blistered my feet though. Tonnes of warm salt baths for my feet before prom to get them in a decent condition again!

Aaaaaan Gu has a mouse in the kitchen under the fridge. This time, I'm playing naive and pretending I have no idea why Gu is sniffing at the fridge, because I've tried catching it, I actually got Gu with it in her mouth outside, and then the little sod brought it back in again where it proceeded to run under the fridge. I forgot to lock her out, oops.

Never mind, it'll probably have been caught by tomorrow.

*yawn* I'm tired, and then again I'm not tired.

I watched Big Hero 6 again last night for the first time since I saw it in the cinema with Ben in January! It was amaaaaaaaazing!

Anyway, I'm probably going to carry on listening to music, and then go to bed.

Shine - Kygo Remix.


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Friday, 19 June 2015


I'm really bad at showing my feelings romantically for someone. 
Like, really, truly bad at it.

From Instagram - a photo of last night's attire for a relaxing evening.
I either get motor mouth and can't shut up, can't stop laughing, or go dead silent in fear of getting motor mouth. 

I feel that I'm great in other company, just with the one person I like, I always seem to let myself down.

When I'm worried or nervous about love, I can't help myself from singing and listening to sad, romantic music. I'm pretty sure we all do though. 

Don't we?

I just can't keep putting my heart out there, just to have to do the same thing I did when I realised the 5 year long love wouldn't ever come to be.

These lyrics of Hunger by Of Monsters & Men don't mean I've given up on love, nor moved on nor have I given up on how I feel. That's not it at all. Far from it.

I'm just trying not to be so obvious any more, since rejection is something none of us can bear.
If love exists, then it'll find me. It'll find us all. Like friendship. It finds you when you least expect it to. You could be the loneliest soul on the planet, all alone, and then, out of the blue, you'll find yourself encircled by the most incredible friends anyone could imagine. It was a bit like that for me, when at 14, I met Courtney. I'd been a late mover to my school, and as such people had already befriended others, and I got left out. I found myself, a bit of a straggler, being accepted in a big group of friends, and all at once, I was right at home. I remember PE lessons with my friends, and looking back, those were the days. 

But look at us all now! Iris going to be a veterinary nurse, Jai going into economics, Courtney going into Accounting and Finance, Holly doing creative writing. 

I'm so proud of all my beautiful friends.

And now, I can find my niche. It is time.

"In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear. I see it all so clear. Whoa, Cover your crystal eyes, and feel the tones that tremble down your spine. Whoa, Cover your crystal eyes and let your colours bleed and blend with mine."

I had a wonderful evening out with Courtney, and we sat in our usual corner. It was so jam packed in our regular haunt again last night (it always is) and we had a weird moment again this week, where two guys wouldn't stop staring at us for about 25 minutes, I had my side to them, and Courtney was looking right at them, and we both kept saying how we hoped they'd just stop. Better than last week though whereby a random guy got his phone out and was blatantly taking photos of the pair of us, Like jeez bud, I can't tell you're taking a photo of us at all when you have your phone pointed in our direction and up in the air, since you can't text like that. -.-

I also find myself sighing a lot lately again. I was sitting on the bus home yesterday from my exam, and sighing so loudly to myself, and then becoming aware it was quite frequent that I just took my headphones out so I was aware what was going on around me. I am such an old soul. Young eyes, old soul.

Back on topic at any rate...

Hmm, as Courtney and I agree, men are a strange species, which neither of us have learnt to understand yet.


And because the love I've experienced is true, this song makes me smile:

Pyramid - Chanice ft Iyaz.
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Thursday, 18 June 2015


I promised you a fashion instalment, here it is!
After my exam today (my last ever A Level, oh my god, 4 years are over) I went to Primark to treat myself. How else would I treat myself?

I've been really into gold transfer tattoos recently, that one just peeking out on my shoulder is one of my faves.


Top: Primark (£3)
Skirt: Primark (£10)
Necklace: Ruth Brankin on Depop (£4)
Sunglasses: Primark (£1)

Ah I just wow. 4 years are over, and it's such a weird feeling. My god. I can't believe time has passed how it has, but I'm grateful for every moment.

I had to sort out some forms at college today before I missed my bus, so I was running about like crazy after my exam haha, but I got everything done, so now, just breathe. I'll be going out to watch live music again tonight at my regular haunt where one of my favourite bands play, with Courtney. It will be a wonderful evening since we're also celebrating her passing her theory test (Yaaaaaay!)

She Wolf - Shakira.



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Tuesday, 16 June 2015


Okay, so as I mentioned recently, I've really gone off making videos. However I wanted to share with you some things I've been loving recently. These are less material, but I'll explain as I go along!

1) The Witcher, Wild Hunt. - Okay, so everytime I mention an incredible game being played by a member of YouTube, I get called masculine by my mum. In her head, games are extremely manly, and aren't really for girls, and girls that do play them are weird (sorry to any females that this has just offended, I live with this daily, haha!) Anyway, I still enjoy games, and I love deep, beautiful graphics, and The Witcher 3 promises this. I hate the gore in it, and I have looked away at the violent/gore sections, but this is a really deep game, with a fascinating storyline. 

I just love the whole beautiful fantasy world, the mythical creatures brought to life, and the idea of magic. I SOUND LIKE SUCH A HIPPIE DARN IT! I'm not, I swear, in fact, I'm completely the opposite of 'hippie', whatever that is. I'd like to think I'm not able to be defined.

Warning though, there are some pretty obvious sexual scenes so if it's a bit awkward, look away when watching it.

2) Kholat - Another game, this time a horror. I watched Pewdiepie's play through of it this morning, and it was fascinating. Terrifying, but fascinating. I then proceeded to watch the rest of the scenes on two different members of YouTube's channel. Really gripping, scary, obviously, but good, for storyline and depth.

3) Potato Waffles. Yes, this is ridiculously childish, but I've recently been loving a potato waffle with my lunch. TASTY! Anyway, I feel so embarrassed admitting I like this, because, lets be honest, its kids food, but they taste nice and they're wheat free.

4) Instagram. I have been loving the inevitable app. I love trying to take visually interesting photos, and recording my life. Seems odd now I think about it in that sense, but heh, I enjoy it.

5) A product I've been loving is Garnier Pure Active Charcoal scrub. I wouldn't advise using it on your face, because it caused me to have a really bad breakout, but using it on oil prone areas on your body like chests, backs, or feet, is really good for keeping skin clean, clear and fresh.

6) Zodiac Posts. Instagram is the heavenly host for zodiac posts, and it is amazing. So enjoyable to flick through in the evening, and see what people associate with the signs. I find many very accurate, however, I keep finding ones about 'most loyal Earth sign' and 'Least loyal Earth sign' and apparently Capricorn is supposedly the least loyal, to which I always have to protest, since, I am instinctively loyal. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this brief favourites post. 

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Monday, 15 June 2015


"In spite of all my fears, I can see it all so clear
I see it all so clear

Cover your crystal eyes
And feel the tones that tremble down your spine
Cover your crystal eyes
And let your colours bleed and blend with mine

But I'm okay in see-through skin
I forgive what is within
Because I'm in this house
I'm in this home
All my time"

- Crystals, Of Monsters & Men.

I can't stop singing this beautiful song. I found it purely by chance, as it came up as a suggested song after listening to "Little Talks" again by Of Monsters & Men, which I listened to a lot in Jan/Feb/March. I hadn't listened to it in a very long time, and then I decided yesterday that I needed to hear it again, and it led me to this beautiful song.

I went swimming in the sea today, for the first time this year. I say swim, I went in, splashed around, kicked as fast as I could, did front crawl as fast as I could (I still got it from my competition swimming days) and then got out. Amusingly, everyone on the beach was waiting for someone to brave it. As soon as I got out, and proved it could be done, almost the entire rest of the beach got up and went in haha.

I feel invigorated. I always feel I can breathe better after swimming in really cold water, and I feel fresh. Gently sleepy, and content. Ready for magic.

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Sunday, 14 June 2015


Yesterday, I said goodbye to one of my three closest friends. Ben, as I've mentioned before, used to study Environmental Studies with me in the first year of A Levels, and yesterday, I said goodbye to him for 14 weeks.

We played 'Pokemon Stadium' on Nintendo 64 (I whooped him!), Super Smash Bros Melee on GameCube (we tied), and James Bond 007 on GameCube (I whooped him again!)
He has gone off on his life adventures, and I won't see him until September. I'm really going to miss him, we've always had such a good laugh together, but I'm happy he's going to do what he wants to do, and to live his life.

He'll then be on a short break in September (not sure how long, but we'll squeeze in a meet up!) and then another 15 weeks away. Meanwhile, I might be at university. And that, truly frightens me. I spend so much of my life looking back, reminiscing, wishing times hadn't changed, be it for friendship, happiness, laughter, or even love.

My fears are less material, and far more states of being. I fear losing those I love, or I'm friends with (although I'm going to see Ben again, friends always find each other again for more laughter), and the fear of over thinking. And maybe I'm nervous of love. I have all these preconceived notions and ideas about love, and yet, I'm afraid I over think things, over think people's feelings towards me. I don't want to be loved if it isn't real, and lasting. I don't want to be loved in a way that expresses companionship if it's shared. I loved someone for 5 years. That's a really, really long time to love someone. And at the end, it was the realisation that I couldn't any more that made me have to detach myself. And that, that was hard.

I just have to be grateful for what I have. I am, I guess I just don't show it enough.

 As for love, I clearly have too high expectations. and maybe that's because I've never had a relationship. 

I haven't stopped how I feel for the person I love. 
That hasn't changed. I'm just wary, as I've always been about getting hurt. 

Anyway, enough procrastinating. 

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