Thursday, 27 August 2015

SO YOU WANNA PLAY WITH MAGIC? // HARD TIME.

Seinabo Sey - Hard Time.


Hope you're all having a great day, I'm going out tonight with Adam, and possibly another friend, it'll be a great evening as always.
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Monday, 24 August 2015

LIFE HAS SETTLED // ENDLESS PARCELS.

Life has finally settled and I feel at last, content. I'm not feeling so uneasy all the time, and feel positive about every aspect of life, because, at last, I've sorted things out.


I've finally decided which university I am going to, and instead of studying Geography, I'm going to be studying what I am most passionate about: English. I chose Geography, because whilst good at both subjects, Geography had a lower grade requirement for entry to university, and quite frankly, that was a bad decision. However, on results day, when clearing opened, I managed to swap my place on Geography at university, to a place on the English honours degree program, and frankly, I couldn't be more excited. 

I start university on the 28th of September, and I plan to live at home, and commute, because it is too expensive to live in halls/accommodation (well the accommodation I was looking at on campus anyway)

But yes, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted, and I feel really relieved. I won't deny, that whilst waiting to start, I do feel really strong pangs of missing routine, and certain aspects of my previous college and timetable, but hey, new beginnings and all for education.
Having thoroughly familiarised myself with the modules I will be studying, I have fallen for this subject wholeheartedly once again, and I know this is most definitely the right decision for me. The second year will be looking at Romanticism, which I know I'm definitely going to enjoy.


I feel like whilst my Blog posts here may be infrequent in future, they will be more eloquent, and hopefully more tasteful, and I do hope to expand my vocabulary, because whilst I try to use varied language, I must admit, I have a long way to go.

I've also recently been doing a lot of online shopping *gritty tooth smile of awkwardness*


Yeah, I sort of went a little mad, and kitted myself for university with clothes that are comfortable, affordable and of course, make me feel good. 

Three parcels arrived this morning from ASOS and I'm thinking I'll have to do an ASOS haul on YouTube perhaps. I did get another ASOS parcel yesterday as well *hands over face*.

I also decided to join ASOS Premier, if you're an avid shopper at ASOS like myself, this is genuinely a godsend. Courtney told me about it a long time ago, but my shopping there was very sporadic and infrequent, so I didn't bother. However, in the last few months, I've been buying from there non-stop so I purchased myself an ASOS premier account. It's £9.95 for a year, and entitles you to free next day delivery on every single order. Otherwise, I think next day delivery is about £4.95 each time? I never used next day delivery, I'd usually make sure my minimum purchase each time was £20 to get free standard delivery, however, I think for the amount of times I purchase from ASOS in a year (I'm not even going to try and work it out because I'll frighten myself) and the cost of the Premier membership, I figured it was more than worth it.

*The trumpets from the "Worth It" song play* 
. . . 

- STOP THAT.

Anyway, so I feel very content once again.

I need to get myself a cup of tea, tidy up, and take a nice long shower. It's so miserable outside, I can't believe it. I'm so pleased I don't have any appointments today, because I would not want to be outside in this rain. (Don't get me wrong, I love the rain, but only in certain moods when I'm made up.... funny logic that, I enjoy the rain when I'm made-up, just so my hair and make-up can get wild with thanks to the weather, but hey, I'd rather that than no makeup and wild, crazy hair naturally)
I've been supposed to get my second tattoo done for well over a week now but unfortunately the tattoo artist I go to is fully booked, so I'm just waiting on a vacancy. I don't want to tell everyone what I'm getting done, but it's going to positioned toward my right hip bone, no larger than a golf ball, and it's to do with childhood memories (nothing Disney, I can assure you).

Ain't Nobody - Felix Jaehn (feat. Jasmine Thompson)

Love you all!
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Friday, 21 August 2015

LISTENING TO MUSIC, WATCHING THE RAIN FALL DOWN, MULLING OVER LIFE.

"I can feel you take my love
And dangle it above the ground
And if the strings are cut
Nothing holds me up
Nothing takes me down."


I had such a lovely Wednesday morning, I went on my own to a local wine bar that were doing breakfast, and I enjoyed breakfast on my own, rather peacefully as I watched the rain fall down.

Last night, I went out with Adam and Courtney to our regular place to listen to the live music, and have a drink.


I got there first as I walked in the rain, to give me a chance to think, and put myself in the right mood before I saw my friends. I ordered a Cosmopolitan, and I won't even deny it: it was so, so strong that it made my eyes water the first time I tasted it. It was really enjoyable though.

It did go straight to my head, and I was laughing non stop, and telling my friends about the person I still have feelings for, which was interesting... and also kind of nice. I wanted to just talk, and get everything out. I'm tired of putting on a brave face, and saying everything is fine, when sometimes, it really isn't just fine.

And yes, I still have feelings for the same person, all this time later, nothing has changed there, before people start thinking "well there you go."

I just wish my vision about my future was a little less clouded at the moment. I have so many decisions to make. *head to desk*

Of Monsters & Men - Winter Sound.

I feel like this song has really summed up how I've been feeling lately, as well as Mirror by Ellie Goulding. It's about me needing to take control of my decisions, none of my feelings have changed, I'm just going through a lot of thinking about my progression in education at the moment, and another option has opened up again today, after I thought I'd closed it off, and narrowed it down to two decisions. So now I have a really, really big decision to make, and I feel like I'm just running from myself at the moment. 

"Stop, you're cold against the skin 
Take me in your arms when walls are closing in 
And I run, I run, I run, awakening my heart 
But you overwhelm my lungs and it's tearing me apart

You and I will not be shaken
By the winter sound
But my voice is suffocating
In the winter sound

Stop, I will take control
Bend the metal into shapes that I know
And I run, I run, I run, further than before
I shake away the skin to saturate my soul

You and I will not be shaken
By the winter sound
But my voice is suffocating
In the winter sound

You and I will not be shaken
By the winter sound
But my voice is suffocating
In the winter sound

And you scream, you scratch, you bite
You prey on my heart
And I know that you and I can never be a-part

You and I will not be shaken!
By the winter sound
But my voice is suffocating
In the winter

You and I will not be shaken
By the winter sound
But my voice is suffocating
In the winter sound"

The lyrics to this, relate to how I'm feeling, because every time I feel I'm getting lost in my emotions, I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm usually really cheerful, but this past week has just been a nightmare. 
The lyrics represent almost how my feelings for someone won't ever just disappear. I don't want to cut ties. I care too much. I sent mixed signals, I know that, I was scared. But I always cared. Always.



I'm sorry this post isn't incredibly interesting, I just feel a bit confused, and lost at the moment. Someone just tell me to make a decision, but there is so much to weigh up! SO MUCH.


Maybe I just need to embrace my sadness, and then I can let it go.

Anyway, 

I love you all,
I love you always.
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Tuesday, 18 August 2015

SLUSHIOUS // THE TROPICAL EDIT OOTD.

Slushious is the title of the song from Home which sounds like irritating noise with a good beat by the way, it was what I was listening to whilst shooting this! 

Today I had a lot of errands to run, including popping a pair of uncomfortable shoes from the sale back to New Look (shocker as I never usually shop there) and I could only get a credit note (which to me wasn't great since I don't shop there haha!) so I quickly darted around the store and picked up a tropical halter neck top in the sale for £4.00. 

I showed it on me on my Instagram page, and said I'd be doing an OOTD in the near future, but since I'm just at home driving myself mad with nerves, I decided to have some fun, play some music and do an OOTD, so I hope you enjoy it.


 


 
TOP: New Look
SKIRT: Primark
WATCH: ASOS
EARRINGS: Primark
 

My wisdom tooth surgery went fine, they only took one out under local anaesthetic in the end, with the other three coming out in about 6 weeks or so time under general anaesthetic. It still hurts though, it came out a week today...

I'm getting another small tattoo done either tomorrow or Thursday, on the right side of my abdomen. It's one to do with family this time, if I do definitely get it done I'll probably snap a photo of it for Instagram, but again, I'm keeping it small and simple. It's positioning is also important, but it's not really the sort of thing I want to talk about here to be honest.

Other news I can't really say at the moment because I'm not sure of what's happening (there is a small amount of detail on one of my Instagram images if you pop over to my page) so I can't say anything about what I'm doing because I honestly don't know.

But feelings wise? I feel pretty darn lost right now. I'm treading water, not unhappily, nor happily, but I'm just kind of, treading water, quietly, getting through. I don't really know how, but I am. I'll explain more when I know more.

I've got to be rescanned for my PCOS because I've been in a LOT of pain lately, and they think there is either a greater extent of PCOS or a development in a different form so I have to have stomach jelly put on me again and get one of those scans. *shudder*

Anyway, I'll stop boring you with the details. I just really, really hope everything works out.

I hope you're all okay? I haven't been here properly in a while, and I hope life is treating you all kindly.

Love, as always,
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Thursday, 13 August 2015

AND I KEEP FALLING // LIKE THE RAINFALL.




Cannonball - Kiesza.

I want to say good luck to everyone today.

If I could give you a big hug I would.

Love, always,
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Monday, 3 August 2015

DARLING, DARLING, AT LEAST WE STOLE THE SHOW // I'M GOING TO MISS YOUR SMILE.

Sometimes, sometimes you just know, you've fallen too deeply, and that you have to move on. 

You get all these coincidences happening and think it's validation, when actually, you realise you're just seeing things how you wish to see them. It doesn't mean you stop caring, nor that you stop loving them. It just means you're not sure that you can keep misinterpreting things because it hurts too much.



So for me? I guess it's time to watch the stars and wait for 10 more days to know where I'm going. If I'm going to the uni I've always wanted to, if I'm going to study what I want to study. 

Dear reader, I hope all your dreams come true for you. I hope you find what you're hoping for. I hope life is kind to you. I really, honestly do.

Kygo - Stole The Show.

I love each and every one of you. 
I'll speak to you all again sometime soon. It might not be for a  little while, at least until the worst of August is done.

"Darling, darling, oh, turn the lights back on now
Watching, watching, as the credits all roll down
Crying, crying, you know we're playing to a full house, house

No heroes, villains, one to blame
While wilted roses filled the stage
And the thrill, the thrill is gone
Our debut was a masterpiece
But in the end for you and me
Oh, the show, it can't go on

We used to have it all, but now's our curtain call
So hold for the applause, oh
And wave out to the crowd, and take our final bow
Oh, it's our time to go, but at least we stole the show
At least we stole the show
At least we stole the show
At least we stole the show
At least we stole the show

At least we stole the show

Darling, darling, you know that we are sold out
This is fading, but the band plays on now
We're crying, crying, so let the velvet roll down, down

No heroes, villains, one to blame
While wilted roses fill the stage
And the thrill, the thrill is gone
Our debut was a masterpiece
Our lines we read so perfectly
But the show, it can't go on

We used to have it all, but now's our curtain call
So hold for the applause, oh
And wave out to the crowd, and take our final bow
Oh, it's our time to go, but at least we stole the show
At least we stole the show
At least we stole the show
At least we stole the show
Stole the show
At least we stole the show
Stole the show
At least we stole the show"
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© THEGIRLCRIEDFASHION

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