Sunday, 18 December 2016

UPDATED TMI TAG (DECEMBER 2016)

 


What are you wearing?

I'm currently wearing my favourite old grey jumper with a "jewel" encrusted collar that I've had for years from Topshop, and a black maxi dress from River Island with long sleeves and tights.

Ever been in love?

Yes. Twice. The other two occasions I came to realise were not, they were just solely lust, no real magic, or real feeling, just the desire to fill an emotional void I guess you could say. So twice, but both times have been very different. The first was when I was very young (14 to 19) and whilst I can say that I was in love, it was very different to how I feel now. I feel that with age, the feeling has changed a lot. It's not an explosive, erratic feeling, it is the feeling of true calm and content.

Ever had a terrible breakup?

As I've said in the past when filling these out, no, I have not. Breakups are never easy, but sometimes necessary and when carried out in a calm, dignified way, it can be handled as two people just separating.

How tall are you?

Same as before, I'm 5 ft 4 and ½.

How much do you weigh?

That's something I've always struggled with. I prefer not to disclose that, from a "that's private" point of view, which is understandable, everyone has things they struggle with.

Any tattoos?

Yes, same as last time, still my infinity symbol tattooed on my left wrist, it represents how long I love people for, be they lovers, friends, family, living or departed. I have plans to get a few more (again very small ones) in 2017, but I'm unsure if those plans will come to anything.

Any piercings?

Just my ears, one in each, no changes there and I no longer have any desire to get any other form of piercing.

OTP (one true pairing)?

I don't have one. How about Lilo & Stitch? That's the only real material pairing that has remained unchanged.

Favourite show?

Currently Amazon Instant Video's Lucifer, which is available to Prime members only. I can't wait for its return in January. Otherwise, I love NCIS currently, and since it's the festive time of year, I enjoy Kirstie's Handmade Christmas although I find her personally a little extravagant and can grate on me a little.

Favourite bands?

Still OMAM (Of Monsters and Men)

Something you miss?

Nothing. I don't miss anything. The only thing I will always miss is my family who have sadly departed, but otherwise, nothing.

Favourite song?

Honestly? I don't know. I still love the album Beneath The Skin by Of Monsters and Men and all the songs on it (literally all the songs) and also enjoy Shelter by Porter Robinson and Madeon.

How old are you?

 I'm 21. Soon to be 22. That doesn't sound as lovely as 21 sounds when you say it aloud. It has less of a ring to it.

Zodiac sign?

Capricorn.

Quality in a partner?

That hasn't changed even remotely.


 Direct from last time: 

“I like a humorous man, someone who can make me laugh, not a class clown, but someone whose humour can be borderline cheesy, an older guy is sort of a must for me, someone younger is a no go zone, no matter what I feel for them. I don't want to be the older person in the relationship. I like someone that I can have a soul connection with, and that feeling like my heart drops in my chest every time I see them in front of me, or hear their voice. If I don’t feel that, then I probably don’t love them."

Favourite quote?

I go blank on this every time, and looking back at my previous answer, I actually really like it, so here you go:


 "As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better."

Favourite actor?

Hmm. I don't really have one to be honest. Tom Hanks? (not in a "oh he's attractive" way, just in a simple admiration of his talent way)

Favourite colour?

Blue. And Burgundy.

Loud or soft music?

Same as before. I listen to a lot of genres. I like loud and soft music. I don't like metal/punk/heavy metal/rock though.

Where do you go when you're sad?

Anywhere. I walk and I walk, or I grab a bus if my bus pass is still valid. I just like to get away. Sometimes M&S cafe. The one where I live. I'll go there, get a hot chocolate and a gingerbread man and mull over things, and remember all the happy times I shared with my grandma there.           

 How long does it take you to shower?

Ten minutes maximum.

How long does it take you to get ready after waking up?

I allow myself 2 hours. It sounds mad I know, but I always leave far more time than I need so I can just relax before I leave once I am ready to go.

Ever been a physical fight?

Same as before:


“Yes, twice. They were not pleasant experiences, but I gave as good as they did.” 

It's not something I am proud of. Far from it. I am very much the kind of person to avoid conflict now. I keep well away from verbal or physical fights.

 Turn on?


 “Scottish accent, dark hair, a bit of a quiff at the front of the hair. That's super cute. A great jawline.       If they have an amazing personality and I get an amazing feeling when I'm with them, that is all that matters."

I described my boyfriend, apart from the Scottish accent, he'll be pleased!

Turn off?

“An arrogant, self obsessed football maniac.”

Yes, arrogance still is a no in my books!

Why did you start your blog?

“To express my fascination with fashion and beauty and discuss all lifestyle things.

        And because I created the blog as an extension of MYSELF. Because I lost my grandma, such a massive part of my life, lost myself, and wanted a hobby to distract myself and help myself recover, because I was still suffering horrendously after two years. It’s strange isn't it? Only now, almost 5 years later, do I not get a stab in my throat, stomach and chest when I realise again that my grandma isn't around any more. I am able at last to just be grateful she was around as long as she was, and love and appreciate the memories I made with her. Love you grandma."

Same as before basically.

 Fears?

“The fear of drowning trapped in a boat. Maybe spiders a lot too.”

Last thing that made you cry?

I can't remember. I don't often cry. I think I cried with joy recently when Suki (my tortoiseshell kitten, she's 7 months old) looked really, seriously cute.

Last time you said you loved someone?

 Maybe yesterday?

 Meaning behind your blog name?

 "It was a name that came to mind, I researched to see if it was in use, it wasn't, and I liked it, and fashion, so it came into being." 

Last book you read?

"I don’t read as much as I should. I only read for university. I know, I'm probably very unintelligent." Most recently, I can't remember the last time I read an entire book cover to cover honestly. I skim books where I can to absorb information quickly, and don't tend to read for pleasure purposes because it doesn't bring me any pleasure personally.

Book you're currently reading?

None.

Last show you watched?

NCIS last night.

Last person you talked to?

 My boyfriend.

The relationship between you and the last person you texted?

He's my boyfriend (self explanatory really)

 Favourite food?

I don't really know anymore. I've had problems with my gallbladder lately, and I'm awaiting an ultrasound to find out what's wrong, so food doesn't really interest me. I've gone from being the person obsessed  with food to not really caring for it, and living off bland food where I can.

Places you want to visit?

Still the Maldives, although I'd love to revisit Greece. 

 Last place you were?

I came home from the beach a few hours ago where I went for a walk with my boyfriend.

 Do you have a crush?

Well, obviously.

Last time you kissed someone?

Today.

Last time you were insulted?

This morning. 

Favourite flavour of sweets?

Coca Cola.

 What instruments do you play?

 “I can play piano fairly well, a bit of Clarinet too."

          "No fam, you can barely read music, can’t understand time signatures, and if you call the tiny little piece you remember off by heart without having to painstakingly mark notes on the piano keys “playing piano fairly well” then you’re playing yourself fairly well, and you cannot remember how to play Clarinet any more either."

Absolutely secretly wetting myself over the answer above that I put in February, I can't even remember having written that but my god it's true.

 Favourite piece of jewellery?

“ My grandma's ring, and pearl earrings she left me.

      And one of those earrings rolled down the back of my wall and down the floorboard to forever remain there until the hardboard in my room is removed. Otherwise, I currently adore my Primark pearl earrings (have done for 5 years), my sterling silver garnet ring, and sterling silver labradorite ring."

I'm also rather taken with chokers at the moment which reminds me that I need to repair three of mine as the clasps have detached.

Last sport you played?

I can't remember, I'm not big into sports and I haven't been for many years. I've always enjoyed the rather "stranger" forms of sport like swimming and zumba.

 Last song you sang?

"Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap.

Favourite chat up line?

I don't have one, nor do I need one.

 Have you ever used it?

N/A.
  
Last time you hung out with anyone?

 This afternoon with my boyfriend (I sound like I'm bragging when I say that, sorry, I don't mean it in a braggy way, I'm just being honest.)

Who should do this tag next?

"Anyone who wants to!"


Love,

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Tuesday, 22 November 2016

REFLECTION.



As I type these words, all I can feel is gratitude. I'm grateful for what this year has brought. This year may be soon drawing to a close, but that doesn't mean all the good that this year has brought will come to an end. I am so thankful for all my past experiences that have carried me here today. Yes, there's been a lot of sadness in the past, but I feel like it's made me stronger. It's helped me bond with all of you, my blog readers, and people who still seem to care about an odd female writer who enjoys cups of tea, talking about the real world, and sometimes escaping it. I am thankful you are all still you, still wonderful enough to read my sometimes solemn, sometimes boring posts. 

2016 truly has been the best year in my life, for so many reasons. There are so many memories and so many people that I am thankful to have and to know. I've travelled more this year than I have in 7 years, I went to Disney Land Paris with one of my best friends, I flew to Greece by myself and overcame my fear of flying, saw the snowy mountains of Albania as I flew across them, I attended my first ever YouTube event, and met people that I idolize. I've seen and caught up with friends that I've known for many years, spent time with new friends from university whom I met last year. I turned 21, which still doesn't sound right, I feel older but I guess age is just a number, right? I saw two family members whom I haven't seen in 11 years and stayed with them, and was reminded that I do have ohana. Saw two more family members that I hadn't seen since my Grandma (Nanama) died, and although I still miss her, I don't feel so alone anymore, because I know she's looking out for me from wherever she is.  I've had more laughs with my best friend Courtney this year, we've been out, seen other friends, danced till the music ended and been our regular, happy selves. I met someone who makes me laugh and has shown me real happiness again, and although it's early days, I feel like I'm where I'm meant to be. 2016 has been incredible. It's changed my life and opened my eyes and really, I'm truly happy.



I'm not going anywhere, don't worry. I'm still here. Still here to remind you that you matter. Even when it feels like your world is crumbling down, and you feel like your breath is leaving your body, please don't give up. There is hope, I do promise you that. I want you to remember how unique and how special you are, and how you've still got to make your mark on this life, and you know what? I know you can do it, and I know you will, so please, don't for a moment give into those demons, those dark thoughts that come creeping into your mind at night and try to suffocate your happiness. Please don't give into that darkness, because you're better than that. You're stronger than that. I know you. And I believe in you. I have every faith that you can overcome any obstacle, no matter how hard it may seem, you can do it. Remember that, okay? So the next time you feel worthless, alone, unloved or afraid, remember that I believe in you. 

You are wonderful. Never forget that.

Your friend, and writer,

Samantha.

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Tuesday, 27 September 2016

TIME OUT.

So the last week has been rather slow paced except for two days for me, and usually, whilst I welcome some quiet time, I've been feeling rather bored.

I caught my right big toe under the door to the living room early last week and proceeded to rip the toenail off the toe, leaving a rather horrible open wound (not nice at all). I've been on paracetamol every day as it's been very painful and have been housebound as I can't put a shoe on my foot. Rubbish, I know. 



I've used this "quiet time" to tidy up the house, cuddle cats, and collect my thoughts, as well as internet shop (oops) and acquire items for new haul videos which I hope to film soon. I always have this feeling of, if the haul is too small it's not worth my time filming it nor the viewers viewing it, or if the haul is too large, it's boring, so I always try to gage what is exciting and worth filming, and what isn't. 

I also came off a long-term hormone medication a couple of months ago and this has severely affected my skin, resulting in quite horrible breakouts and causing me to reach more and more for the foundation, which I had previously left alone entirely. I've come to the conclusion that I need to go back onto the hormone medicine (I came off through my own choice, I was not recommended to) because not only is it acne wars on my face and my chest, but there has also been a "I can't control my emotions" war recently, and it has been let's say, less than favourable.

Anyway, that's your little update, videos are in the works, toe is starting to recover, life is moving forward. I hope you are all well and enjoying the beautiful start to Autumn.

Love & Light,

Samantha,


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Saturday, 3 September 2016

NEW PHONE CASE, COPPER DETAILS & KITTEN CLOSE UPS.

Having spent until half past midnight last night working on a new gameplay for my channel (which I must just say I am thrilled with, however, concerned about copyright ownership and issues revolving around copyright) I decided I needed to clean up and tidy my desk. Basically, big declutter time.


*Brief pause as hears cat flap microchip scanner indiciate cat has arrived indoors from rain and requires thorough towel down and cuddle*

I really love my desk space as an area to think, plan new content and just generally admire how "me" everything is. Not having your own home means you rely on living in someone else's home (in my case my parent's home) and having to accept other people's tastes and choices of decor, which you may or may not like. My room however, is the one place I can always come to be myself. It's a space, not only for sleeping, relaxing, (constant tidying), but also for creating, thinking and planning, so therefore a room should be a place you can enjoy.

I also picked up a new phone case recently and I love how cute it is! It's a silicone one so it's squishy too, and surprisingly high quality. I bought it on Depop in case you wanted to purchase one too.


I also decided today upon seeing Miko, my ginger, male kitten, looking so incredibly cute that I'd need to take some photos of him. Suki was asleep and Gü was out so they'll both have to have their photoshoots another time!






Have a wonderful day everyone,

Samantha,
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Friday, 2 September 2016

THEGIRLCRIEDSTYLE: WHY I HAVE STOPPED TURNING TO FASHION MAGAZINES FOR INSPIRATION.


Trawling through endless adverts for high-end designers, featuring flawless looking models, with mad but perfect hair, I began to realise to myself why I stopped reading fashion magazines.
Not only is there a ridiculous feel to most of the advertised outfits, but there has always been something that I just didn't get from these magazines: inspiration. I don't see anything "normal" about the adverts for high-end brands, just a lot of mad makeup, crazy big hair, and unrealistic outfits. Let's be honest, who is going to go out wearing a huge frumpy cardigan stitched with Swarovski gems and emblazoned with emoji patches as they head off to a day at university, work, or the school run to collect their children? I can't put the brands and designers down: what I see is fabulous, ridiculous, yet appealing for the idea of flouncing about in at a lavish mansion party, but for the women on an everyday budget, I only see a lot of disappointment that they cannot relate to these adverts in any which way. I've always disagreed with the touching up of models too; how can one possibly accept themselves and be proud of their own body when perfectly ordinary women are being photoshopped to goddesses? 

Therefore, as well as my own photography inadequacies, I have decided not to showcase "fashion" anymore. I shall instead showcase "style". Outfits that I have created and I personally love. I'm not the kind of woman to pretend to like something when I don't: I'm fairly straightforward. If I don't like it, I'll generally say that I don't like it, or won't mention it at all.

My blog has been the poor abandoned love child of my imagination and inspiration as a result of my lack of inspiration lately, it has fallen into abandonment and I very much hope to kick start it once again and feed it with delights from life.

Samantha,



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Friday, 17 June 2016

GREECE.



































So as some of you may or may not be aware, if you follow me on my Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat or YouTube channel, you'll know that I got home from Greece on Wednesday afternoon. As an almost entirely surprise holiday that my mum suddenly booked a week in advance, I thoroughly enjoyed every single minute and honestly wish I could have stayed longer. I stayed with a long-term family friend named Barrie who was kind enough to host me and take very good care of me and showed me around the island. I'll let the photographs do the talking, and if you'd like to see more, my Greek vlogs shall hopefully be going live on the usual 5pm GMT+1 Sunday upload on my YouTube channel!

Love & Light,


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Wednesday, 25 May 2016

BLACK DRAGON // OOTD

Earrings: Unknown.
Velvet Choker: @maefer on Depop
Tee: H&M
Belt: ASOS
Jeans: ASOS Ridley
Sandals: Clarks
Sunglasses (Shown Later): Quay Australia.





I decided to show you one of my simple outfits that I just love at the moment in this little OOTD. I hope you like it! I'm currently in the process of fading out my hair, I think I'll be bleaching the ends before too long as I'm kind of bored of the upkeep it requires, and a caramel blonde ombre is just that much easier to maintain!

Love,

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