So I've neglected you a little over here lately, haven't I?
I mean it.
This week has been ... strange. I don't mean in the "I've seen a ghost" kind of strange, nope, I've never seen a ghost so don't worry. Nor do I believe in them. Anyway, off topic. This week like I was saying, has been strange. It's been a week of highs and lows, like any other week, and it's been a week of new beginnings. This week I took up Pilates for the first time and really enjoyed it, (even though, like always, I underestimated the intensity of it, and found myself feeling a little embarrassed by my physique and lack of body strength compared to some of the slimmer ladies in the room, and then kicked myself for feeling so uncomfortable internally, and slightly jealous of some of the other women, since, I took up Pilates to better myself internally and externally, more on that later)... so Pilates was brilliant, and totally had me aching for the next few days. I've decided to attend the weekly session every week from now on as a replacement for Zumba, which I haven't attended in at least 3 years. It had gotten to the point where Zumba was more stressful than enjoyable since the studio gym I attended (and now attend for Pilates class) was ABSOLUTELY CRAMMED, to the point whereby each week was fully booked and you could barely move in the space that was provided. With that and my health at the time deteriorating, I decided to leave. However, I can finally say I've found a replacement that makes me feel both mentally and physically better.
I also started ANOTHER fitness class this week and that was Aqua Fit, held at the same venue as Pilates. I thoroughly enjoyed the class, and even though I was again, really nervous about integrating into a class I didn't know, I sort of found my own slot and got on with it, and they played the Mamma Mia soundtrack to work out to - I was smiling from ear to ear, since I've loved the soundtrack since the release of the film years ago, and I downloaded the full soundtrack onto my phone last week. It was wonderful, and uplifting for the soul to be in a swimming pool filmed with women supporting one another and encouraging one another (and one man, who bless him took part and found his own place too) to do their best, sing along, and work out. And yet again, I underestimated the intensity of the class. That was a nice surprise, to find the class was actually a little bit knackering - it worked out my arms far more than my legs which was great, because it was mainly my legs being destroyed in Pilates!
So, returning to a point I made earlier - I've been really working on being a better person, not just visibly, but internally too. I don't feel like I'm a particularly "good" person anymore, and for a long time, I've just sort of "existed". I don't feel like I've really added to society and the world around us, so I've been trying harder to learn and be a better person. I want to improve the lives of others, whilst improving myself.
I've been eating healthier - I've cut out sugary drinks, (which I didn't drink that much of to begin with), I've cut out chocolate (I haven't eaten any in over a week, bar a teaspoon of nutella on an apple today, which I'm kicking myself for). I'm cooking cleaner, healthier meals and making acai bowls for breakfast every morning and working on just trying to tone up and slim down because honestly, I'm not happy in my body anymore, and that's affecting my mind. My mind is becoming unhappy because my body is unhappy.
I bought the Phil Collins CD shown in the image above this week, and I'm so glad I did. It's soul soothing, and just hugely nostalgic, not because I was born in the era to appreciate it (because I wasn't - I was born in '95 in case you didn't know) but because it reminds me of Greece (more on that in my last post) and it just makes me feel so much better when things get a little too much.
I completed two more assignments and submitted them on time which was a massive relief, and I've today started the first of two more due at the end of this month.
I visited a deli/tea room with my mum this week, a place local to us, that I'd never been to before, and again had troubles feeling comfortable. I became very self-conscious and worried that people were judging me for my clothing (a denim jacket, dark smoky makeup and general grunge/rock chic look) and my piercings, because let's be honest, a lot of older people do not like piercings. I felt uncomfortable for a little while, until an older couple left (who I'd felt like were staring, but god knows that could well have been in my head what with already feeling self-conscious and like I didn't fit in there) but when a lady about my mother's age walked in wearing bright pink with bright pink streaks through the front of her blonde hair, and every one was admiring her (myself included) I suddenly realized, it WAS in my head. I had no reason to feel as bad as I did, and I suddenly loosened up, relaxed and enjoyed a chilled half an hour, drinking tea with my mum, and talking, normally, about life, and things.
This coming Wednesday, I'm off on a trip with university, on a coach trip for a fair few hours to stay away for a couple of nights and watch some Shakespeare plays. I'm both excited and nervous about it, since I don't know who else is attending (I'll find out at the meeting on Monday) and we're staying in a hotel for two nights, and I'm secretly hoping I won't have to share a room with someone else, since none of my friends are attending (as far as I'm aware). However, I am excited because I get a two-night getaway for nothing, and I get to use my new solid suitcase because I've been wanting to use it since I got it, and watching Shakespeare plays live, which in my family, became a tradition, and my mother took me to many live open-air plays (all Shakespeare, a few non) whilst I was growing up, to give me a sense of culture, and honestly, I think that really shaped my progression into Literature as my degree.
Anyway, I hope this week has treated you lovingly, and that next week will treat you with the utmost kindness too. Who knows? Maybe you'll take up a new hobby too? Maybe you'll discover a new song and fall hopelessly in love with the way it makes you feel?